8 Signs of People Pleasing
Tap any that resonate with you. There's no judgment here — only awareness.
10 Patterns of Conflict Avoidance
Tap “I relate” on the ones that feel familiar. No one is watching — this is for you.
The Silent Treatment
Instead of addressing problems, you go quiet. You withdraw. You hope the issue will magically resolve if you just ignore it long enough.
Stonewalling
You shut down completely during disagreements — emotionally, physically, verbally. Your partner is left talking to a wall.
Passive Agreement
You agree with everything to end the conversation faster, even when you disagree deeply. Your real feelings go underground.
Score-Keeping
You don't address issues as they arise — you keep a mental tally. Then one day, everything comes out at once in an explosion of accumulated resentment.
Deflection & Topic-Switching
When a serious conversation starts, you crack a joke, change the subject, or suddenly need to do something else. Anything to avoid the uncomfortable truth.
Walking on Eggshells
You monitor every word, every tone, every facial expression to avoid triggering conflict. You live in a constant state of hypervigilance.
Minimizing Serious Issues
'It's not that bad.' 'At least they don't...' You talk yourself out of valid concerns and dismiss your own pain as overreacting.
Blaming Yourself
Every conflict must be your fault. If you had just been better, nicer, quieter, prettier — none of this would have happened. Right? Wrong.
Over-Functioning
You do everything yourself to prevent any situation where expectations aren't met. If you just handle it all, there's nothing to fight about.
Emotional Flooding
When conflict does happen, you're so overwhelmed by the emotions you've been suppressing that you can't think straight. Tears, panic, shutdown.
Red Flag vs. Green Flag
Replace unhealthy patterns with healthier alternatives.
Silent treatment
'I need some time to think, but I want to talk about this later.'
Passive agreement
'I see it differently. Can I share my perspective?'
Score-keeping
Address issues as they arise, kindly and directly.
Minimizing
'This matters to me, and I need us to talk about it.'
Self-blame
'This isn't just my responsibility. We both contribute to this dynamic.'
Over-apologizing
'Thank you for your patience' instead of 'Sorry for being a bother.'
“You are not asking for too much. You are asking the wrong person.”